Green Lantern, and It's Kind of a Funny Story

Green Lantern, VF, but not Cheese-F

I went into this movie knowing hardly anything about about the Green Lantern, and came away with the impression that he is a whiny, commitment-phobe pussy. Did they mean to do that? He sees an alien, puts on the magic ring, goes to the Latern hub-thing, gets trained by an Alien to use his nigh-limitless superpowers and he's on the fence about it? Sure, I like the puppy eyes of Ryan Reynolds as much as the next person, but a superhero should be using his powers for good, not for pouting.

The special effects also came across as kind of fake. They did the whole CGI'd suit thing, and they had all the aliens from all the other sectors and stuff, and I think they were trying to make them all look as if they were illuminated from the inside by the green light of will, but it ended up looking kind of plastic... but not nearly as plastic as the performance of the leading lady, Blake Lively, from Gossip Girl. BA-ZING! No really, she's terrible.

The saving grace of this movie were the performances of the two villians, the power-crazed scientist with daddy issues Hector Hammond, played by Peter Sarsgaard and the Red-faced Sinestro played by Mark Strong. Hector Hammond does not get the respect he feels he deserves from his Senator daddy, played by Tim Robbins (whose talent is severely untapped in this film), and he goes mental. Sarsgaard takes his performance way over the top, and it's hilarious. Now, Sinestro really isn't a villian in this movie, per se, but he totally has that going to the darkside vibe, and his name is Sinestro. I've really liked Marks Strong's performances in Rocknrolla (VF*) and Kick-ass (VF). He just exudes power and self control, and that also stands true for this movie.

The movie comes across as super cheesy, to the point that I didn't connect to any of the characters, but it is totally VF, so if you're desperate to see it, you have no reason to fear.

It's Kind of a Funny Story, so NOT VF I couldn't even get through it.

A real shame, because I've been intrigued by this movie ever since I saw the trailers for the movie. Teenage love in a mental ward appealed to me, and the movie had Zach Galifianakis, whom I love but he can't seem to put out a movie that is emetophobe friendly. I have enjoyed Zach Galifianakis from his stand up I've caught on Comedy Central, and he was also in the documentary The Comedians of Comedy (VF- the documentary, I can't speak to the TV show) with Patton Oswalt, Brian Posehn, and my personal fave Maria Bamford, which I love, but the Hangover series is one I'll never embrace for obvious reasons, and Due Date with Robert Downey jr. which my husband reported to me was not VF.

I sat down to watch It's Kind of a Funny Story with my brother and his wife, which I knew would be risky because it took place in a hospital and the Zach-factor, but I was being brave. The first V* scene made me jump so hard that I hit my head with my empty pizza plate, dumping crumbs all down my front, and the second V* scene was in quick succession, so they kindly stopped the movie. By sister-in-law kindly checked the internet for me, and it turns out that the whole V* thing seems to be a running theme through out the film. Sad for me, but if I want to catch Zach Galifianakis in cinema, I can also re-watch his one scene in Up in the Air (VF) with George Clooney, which is hilarious.

Midnight in Paris, Kung Fu Panda 2: The Kaboom of Doom

Midnight in Paris, VF* and freaking magical. My favorite movie of the year thus far, and I loved Super 8 (Not VF).

I went into this movie knowing nothing about it but that it was going to be my first Woody Allen movie, and that my hubby is not a Woody Allen fan, but I left craving Cole Porter tunes, and sending gushing texts to my loved ones telling them to see this film. Owen Wilson was personable and funny as the nerdy protagonist whose love for the 1920s is lost on his cripplingly yuppy fiancée played by Rachael McAdams. They may have gone to Paris together, but they are most definitely not on the same trip. Cryptic, yes? The less you know you about this movie going in the better, but I will tell you, you will be enchanted, you will be in love, you will be doing the charleston.

*There is some mild drunkenness in the beginning of the film, but nothing happens.

Kung Fu Panda 2: The Kaboom of Doom, VF, and with all the Cars B.S., a kid's movie franchise that I can get behind.

A kid's movie? Of course it's V free! Um... those of us who have seen the Judy Moody trailer know better! (If it pops up while you're at the movies or watching television and you haven't caught it yet, close your eyes as soon as you see the roller coaster, the incident is cartoony but still super gross. My Hubs is saying the Spy Kids 4 trailer is also not VF, so go get popcorn or something.)

I was a huge fan of the first Kung Fu Panda (VF), and this sequel a worthy continuation of the saga of Po (Jack Black), the pudgy panda who evolves from Kung Fu fanboy to Dragon Warrior. I was grateful that this wasn't a rehashing of the old plot about a fat guy who has a hard time with physical fitness. He may still have issues with stairs, but he's totally a Kung Fu master. This movie goes deeper into the relationship with his goose father, Mr. Ping (James Hong) which had some very touching moments, and Po's struggle for inner peace. I'm a Jack Black fan, I just can't help myself, but even people who have issues with his over the top goof-ball mannerisms will enjoy this movie.

Super 8, X-Men: First Class, Rubber

 

Super 8: Not VF (v free), but totally worth seeing! There is that definite gloss of 80s adventure movie nostalgia which I find totally charming with the special effects that add an air of realism and excitement to the whole thing, and the innocent romance is adorable. 

There is an instance of IV where v is mentioned briefly in a conversation toward the beginning of the movie when the main character has just arrived at school, so if you would like to plug your ears, watch out for the red headed kid with braces to come out of the school plug your ears and hum the Jeopardy theme one time. It is not descriptive or anything so if your not one of the uber-sensitive, you can take it.

There are two not VF scenes, both inflicted by the same character, so feel free to hate the friend in glasses. What a pussy.

The first is after the train has crashed. Time passes while the main character is explores the crash by himself which is fine, but then he reaches a clearing reunited with his friend and then yuck. It’s rather sudden, and I’ve only seen the movie one time, so if you want to triangulate this incident better in the comments, it would be greatly appreciated.

The second scene is when the kids are on the bus and the soldier is pulled out the door by the creature. Close your eyes and hum the jeopardy theme two times, do not forget the modulation, because ew.

 

X Men: First Class: VF, and an excellent superhero period piece. By far my favorite X Men movie (all of which are VF, pleasantly), It is the first one that does handles the genocide theme really well, and the cast is awesome. 

      

Rubber: VF with an *, but another really fun movie. It is utterly absurd, and if you really embrace the premise laid out for you in a fantastic monologue in the beginning of the movie, you are bound to have a good time.

There is an incident where a bunch of the cast members are poisoned, and there is a lot of moaning and holding of stomachs, and I totally squirmed through the scene, and them another character is poisoned and he is moaning and squirming, but nothing happens. Trust me!